| bunk |
[Jan. 23rd, 2006 |01:11 am] |
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people shouldnt talk about you when youre down the hall or in the same house for that matter. shit they shouldnt do it period. mackenzie rules though. im actually starting to get my shit together. i think. |
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| pretty crazy.... |
[Sep. 28th, 2005 |11:17 pm] |
so it is pretty strange. being in texas. 1400 miles away from my comfort zone. i miss everyone. i miss my mom. its hard being away from everything you are so used to. i love it for one reason though and that is the fact that i get to wake up every morning and play music that i love with dudes i love. everything is hectic though. i am so stressed. i cant wait to see everyone. music is such a crazy endeavor but i love it so much. i am going to get to sleep. i have a very long day ahead of me once again. god bless and much love from good ol' dirty texas! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2005 |11:12 am] |
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tomorrow is my big day. whos getting crunk? |
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| a town that felt like scars across my wrists..... |
[Aug. 8th, 2005 |03:47 pm] |
everyday has been the same. i am so sick of the same routine. i want to do something exciting... i want to live! i miss being a five year old and having my only worries in the world be learning how to tie my shoes. it was all so simple then, we were all so innocent then. its sad to think how as time goes by and as you get older, you lose your purity and your innocence. you dont know any better when your a child, you are just naive. as you get older you actually realize how corrupt and evil the world is. as many horrible things there is in the world, it is still all so overwhelmingly beautiful. gods gifts are so breathtaking.
i conducted this theory in my head as to why babies cry when they are born. i think in a weird way, they know what is ahead of them. i think they cry when you cut the umbilical cord also because that is detaching them from their "safe place". for nine months they are in a secluded womb and safe from all the evil in the world but i think they just kind of, know... i am not sure. that could just me being weird. i am going to watch tv and look for something to do. god bless doodz. |
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| your giving me a heart attack... |
[Jul. 28th, 2005 |02:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | lorene drive | ] |
writing is so amazing. i love to write. i love to look back on the past and reflect on things. i love the feeling of realizing how much i have grown over the years. i love being able to tell myself how stupid i was at certain points of my life and yet be okay with that.
the thought of death has been in my mind alot lately. not in a morbid way. just death in general. i often ponder the thought of my death and my funeral. and who would be there and what they would say and how they all would handle it. if it is possible to watch your own funeral, i dont think i want to. i dont think that i am strong enough to handle that. its pretty mind blowing how easy it is to die. and how the smallest thing could kill you in the blink of an eye. sometimes i wonder who would cry and who would care. i wonder if i would be missed. the thought of the people closest to me dying terrifies me as well. for some odd reason lately before i leave to go home after spending time with my friends i give them all hugs and tell them to please be safe. i want to start telling them i love them because if any of them died i would at least be content with the fact that they knew i loved them.
love is so wonderful. it is one of the greatest emotions a human can feel in my opinion. not necessarily just in a relationship but just love in general. to feel such a strong connection and bond with something/someone is so amazing. i am in love with so many things and that makes me feel amazing.
i am really scared about what is to come in the next few months. as of now, i have NO future planned for myself and that makes me feel so pathetic. i will be 18 in two weeks and that also scares me. i dont know if i am going to school and if i do, i dont know where or how i am going to. i want to get married. i want to start my own life. i want to do something remarkable that will make people proud of me. i strive for the feeling of someone being proud of me.
i have written alot. i am going to go rest my head on my pillow and stare at the walls and ceiling until my eyes get so restless that they need to shut. i love you all so very much. i love jesus. god bless you all and have a amazing night. |
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| been awhile... |
[Jul. 22nd, 2005 |12:13 pm] |
so yeah i have not updated in awhile.things are pretty dope i am really happy with hannah she seriously is such an amazing girl and she makes me feel so happy. other than that i have not really been doing anything at all. no band, no job, no school. just trying to spend some time with hannah and my friends i miss them. i am in the studio right now helping track nevea tears with randy. sounding good so far. i g2g peace. |
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| awesome |
[Jul. 3rd, 2005 |01:40 am] |
HANNAH RULES MY WORLD!!!
♥
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| your dome is dope |
[Jun. 24th, 2005 |12:28 am] |
oh my effing goodness!
i havent updated in way long! stuffs good. i am pretty much a full time bum! haha. i sleep in untill about 2 everyday. shower eat and have band rehersal. stuff is dope. being out of school is amazing. i am moving to hollywood on August 16th! dope! i am going to get going! later domes! |
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| with my foot to the floor i will drive to a place where i can kick it with friends through the night |
[May. 21st, 2005 |01:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the rocket summer | ] |
WOW!
nobody reads this anymore... ahhh, whatever... bitches!
so pretty much my life is CRAZY right now. but, i love it. i graduate in 1 week, pretty wierd. i am moving to Hollywood in August. The band is going great and I have amazing oppurtunitys in store for myself. I am playing at the orange blossom fest in riverside sunday morning at 11:20-12:00am go and say hi and check us out, please!
so much ahead of me, so much to think about, so much insanity. for some reason.. i am not worried at all though. for the first time in a very long while, i am content with my life. god is amazing.
goodnight♥ |
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| new toy |
[May. 11th, 2005 |08:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Rocket Summer | ] |
say hello to my new best friend. i have a new number if i know you and you dont know it yet, ask me and you shall recieve.
things are going great. go to my upcoming shows! 2 more weeks of school and i am a graduate! i love you all!!
ADD MY BAND!
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| BROKE MY PHONE..... |
[May. 4th, 2005 |08:15 am] |
SO YEAH!
my old phone broke but i dont care, i am getting my SideKick tomorrow but i have no way to retrieve your guys phone numbers so if you guys can message me back your numbers that would rule.
If you dont thats cool, i guess that just means you never want to talk to me again.....
thanks lovers, send them digits!!
♥lancebear
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| picture yourself flying... |
[Apr. 22nd, 2005 |11:53 pm] |
so pretty much, my life is going in a million different directions. so much is in store these next 4 weeks. i have a huge amazing oppurtuinty on my hands and i pray to god it is in his will for me to do this. i love you all. sorry if i have been out of touch, i am just rediculously busy with school and stuff. it will all be over in 4 weeks when i graduate high school. i love you all and god bless. |
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| loveeeee |
[Apr. 15th, 2005 |11:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Rocket Summer - Goodbye Waves And Driveways | ] |
I LOVE JESUS I LOVE JESUS
I LOVE JESUS I LOVE JESUS
I LOVE JESUS I LOVE JESUS
I LOVE JESUS I LOVE JESUS
I LOVE JESUS I LOVE JESUS
I LOVE JESUS I LOVE JESUS
I LOVE JESUS I LOVE JESUS
I LOVE JESUS I LOVE JESUS
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| what a beautiful day |
[Apr. 8th, 2005 |10:28 am] |
i told my parents i got fired. its all good. i got a new job now. i love it. i love the way i feel lately. i miss some of my friends. i have a lot to do bvut i am not even worried about it. i still am looooovvvvvviiiiinnnnnggggg my scion. i am going to get lunch with alex, eric and linna today. should be fun we always have fun. i love jesus so much. i feel the end is coming soon. if your not saved think about whats at stake. read the bible, and read the book of revalations. it may make you think twice. anyways i love you all and it is time to get dressed. if anybody has any fun ideas for this weekend, hit me up! |
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| so bury me im already 10 feet below the ground.... |
[Apr. 4th, 2005 |11:15 am] |
here is an update. girls that say one thing and change their minds and contradict themselves the next need to stop that its rather annoying and a waste of time for the other person. im over that now i knew it prob. wasnt true to begin with. whatever. i am really close to graduation and i am excited for it to be over! i have yet to tell my parents i got fired, i feel like shit about that. i hate how people over analyze shit too much just because they dont understand why their life is the way it is. that may not make since but fuck, its my journal. i have been playing guitar alot lately. the more i think about it, i love staying home and being by myself. thats the best way to avoid confrontation. i need to spend more time with my mom. i am going to go play PS2 golf now BYE! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005 |09:27 am] |
next time i tell myself i have a bad feeling about something i just just follow my heart and go home. fuck i am always doing this shit! |
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| im doing everything for you... |
[Mar. 31st, 2005 |10:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | rocket summer / im doing everything for you | ] |
"the air is freezing cold tonight, and you are sleeping with your eyes closed tightly, but all i need right now is you right by my side, you make me feel like i am home... the cigarette smoke is filling up our lungs tonight, the lights are out, lets make this right. all i need to be set free is you laying right beside me... the morning light creeps though the door, with our eyes wide open a new day has began, i could have there forever by your side, just to watch your peaceful eyes.... just laying there i felt by heart race, but no, i couldn't close my eyes. i was focused on your beauty, it was all i needed to feel at home tonight...."
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| tell me something good.... |
[Mar. 27th, 2005 |11:26 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The Rocket Summer - Tell Me Something Good | ] |
the new rocket summer cd is beyond amazing. i got my scion friday. it is so amazing. i loveeee it. im excited. im on spring break tahnk god. i am so excited to be able to chill for 2 weeks. i need to look for a new job though. went to kristins tonight after i went to kyles little bbq. nobody came it was sad. it was me kyle and gary only. right when i got there christie had to go thome but it was cool seeing here. my life is good right now except the fact that im really fucking sick i dont care though. im happy. i love you and you and you and you and all of you! |
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